We all tell "little white lies". There are always a lot of reasons to not be honest. But those reasons are excuses. Some of those excuses are basically our desire to hide from consequence and other times we dress it up as a concern of hurting another's feelings.
But the phrase "honesty is the best policy" truly is correct. I think some people do this gracefully. They know how to be honest in a capacity that feels filled with grace and humbleness. Others can be like a bull in a china shop in how they relay themselves. They may be honest, but it is blunt and to the point.
While I can appreciate a direct approach because tip-toeing around a situation sometimes takes more time and effort than ripping off the band-aid, I also see the need to be gentle in how we relay truth. Not everyone sees things the way you do. We all have very different personalities and life experiences that shape how we take in information and how we respond. We all need to be cognizant that how you share something may not connect the way you intended.
I have a general rule of thumb for this, though I am not always good about applying it. At first, I will try a more gentle approach. I will be gracious and polite. But if the person receiving it, does not take that in and use it, then I might just get a little more tough. An example of this for me is from work. I had a project that included working with several team members to create a series in which the individuals worked on a piece each for the series. One team member never asked questions and submitted something outside of what I outlined. When I first responded, I was gracious in asking if they needed assistance or if I could help adjusting the work. But the next response I received was defensive and uncalled for so, I had to put my foot down and lay out how I had given an outline and they needed to redo the work including components that were missing. I don't like having to be that way, but there is a point where you have to stand for what you know is right and what you know to be true.
That can be hard when others have differing opinions of truth. This is when we must remember something that is foundational, not just as a right, but as how we were created: we were given free will. Free will is an amazing thing. It gives me the ability to think for myself, to make decisions, and not under someone else's control. The flip side of this is that everyone has free will. Where someone else might choose differently than yourself. We have to respect that as we have our own free will to make decisions and choose our own thoughts, so do they. It is ok to have dissenting opinions. Sometimes it breeds honest conversation and drives change.
You cannot control how others may or may not accept the concept of free will, but we have to take the high road. We cannot be hypocrites to what we believe by forcing our beliefs and opinions on others. Respect other's right to their free will as you want to be respected as well. Respect can make the difference in how you approach honesty. When you are respectful, you are cognizant of others in how you speak truth and being honest.
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